I'm Not the Scrooge, I Just Hope You Have A Horrible Christmas... For Personal Reasons

Yup, it's almost Christmas, imaginary readers! That means another day of Christmas shopping and preparing a feast (for you), and another day of crying on the sofa alone in the dark while eating a tub of Ben and Jerry's and watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy (for me some). But it's not all fun for me, I also have a lot of work around the holidays. For instance, I have to get a hose attached out front for when carolers arrive, and I have tons of hate mail bills to sort through. I bet you're wondering what you got for Christmas. Well have you been good this year? Probably not so your parents Santa is going to give you a pretty awful gift, like a toothbrush. Not that I should really be talking. The last gift I received? My electric bill. Well I'm pretty busy, so I've gotta go. Try not to have too much fun! No, seriously, I can hear you from inside my house.

P.S. Santa doesn't exist...Merry Christmas everyone.